I don’t get it. How can a large part of 40 people sacrifice their lives for someone else’s dream? I don’t care anymore for the project we’ve been working on. I did, at the beginning. Now? Being genuine has become counterproductive. If I want to leave by 7PM, I either have to make up excuses, or lie. If I want time off I have to call in sick. A simple “I work hard, but after 9 hours I create more bugs than I should be fixing” doesn’t get me anywhere. I don’t like this direction, it’s not something I want for myself.
Even my friendships are slowly crumbling. I haven’t been speaking to G. in a long time. We used to hang out often. He’s losing people without even realising it, and this is because he’s in love with this job. Also, do you see how we work hard to avoid mistakes, not because we care, but because otherwise we would get dissed by the technical director during meetings? C.
Whenever I stay beyond 7pm, I actually work on my personal website, browse the internet, do personal tasks. Then, after fifteen minutes or so, I disappear into thin air. I keep hoping that this place might go back to when it worked well, though I’m afraid it’s like clutching at straws. Last week, one of my peers cried because he was getting fired. We fought for him, two days straight, and were patronised because — and I quote your (former?) friend — it’s not personal. Then, after the unexpected backlash, they reinstated the guy, somehow promoting him to a head of production role, basically asking him to spy on us. Which he gleefully did. What a twist.
These new leaders are constantly trying to put people who were in this project since the beginning under scrutiny. You were right, when you showed me that mechanism of shifting the blame onto the workers at the bottom of the chain. They’re taking themselves out of the equation, hence, they’re never responsible for any failure. Something truly disheartening: they’re taking away the love we used to have for this job.
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